Thursday, November 24, 2011

What are you grateful for?

Thanksgiving is my least favorite holiday, for many reasons that I won't get into here, followed closely by Christmas. I don't look forward to it, and I especially wasn't this year because holidays have a way of amplifying any issues that are going on within a family.

The day was unexpected. The day turned out ok.

We got to spend the day with a sweet little chihuahua named Frankie. He's our neighbors escape artist dog who we find in our yard at least a couple of times a month. His owners still haven't picked him up so it looks like he'll be staying the night.

This morning Sophie snuck out and killed a bird. It was a little male chickadee. We buried him in the backyard. Most of us (maybe all of us) don't appreciate what we have until it is taken from us. Death has a way of changing my perspective instantly.

Lately I've been caught up in the dangerous and dark side of self-reflection. It's time to break that with gratitude so here goes...

I am grateful for being able to sleep in this morning and waking up on my own.

I am grateful for a day of peace after 6 weeks of fighting.

I am grateful for two miraculous souls named Zoe and Paige, and the light and wisdom they bring into my life.

I am grateful for the opportunity to teach my kids about life and death.

I am grateful for knowing what it's like to fall madly in love, even if it didn't have a fairy tale ending.

I am grateful for the wonderful and amazing people who will always be a part of my life and seem to move in and out of it with perfect timing.

I am grateful for great friends whose friendship cannot be weakened by time or distance.

I am grateful that I've found long lost hope.

I am grateful that I learned to cook and that it's so easy to be a vegetarian in this moment in history. (And dairy-free pumpkin pie, yum)

I am grateful that in this moment, without looking back at the deep sadness of the last many days, and without the fear that comes with the unknowns that are about to happen, everything is alright.

I am grateful for music, art, and dreams that are with me at every step lighting my path.

I am grateful for being human. For the ability to FEEL even if that means pain.

I am grateful that there are people who I haven't met who will change my life and I will change theirs in return.

I am grateful for knowing what I want.

What are you grateful for?

Wednesday, November 23, 2011


Dear Universe: That's really funny. I get it. No more jokes for now, ok?

Tuesday, November 22, 2011


I'm in a state of transition. Flux. Fuck.

One moment I feel strong, confident. The next I'm full of guilt, hopelessness, fear. Then anger. Then hurt. It cycles too quickly. I can't get grounded. Is it even possible to move forward when you're spinning?

And how is it possible that no matter what I'm feeling there is a song that captures that emotion perfectly? Maybe I'm just lucky that way. Radiohead has been my constant companion for the last few weeks. This weekend I discovered an album by them that I had never heard, because I don't keep up with music, and there's a song that hits right to the nerve. Lyrics. Everything.

I'm on Flickr - - working through my shit through photography. I'm raw, so please be kind if you choose to comment.

Thursday, November 03, 2011

I'm a dork

Yesterday I answer the door. It's a neighbor looking for his dog. He doesn't make eye contact and seems to be in a hurry. I walk back inside look in the mirror. It seems that I forgot that Zoe had made me into a fairy elf just a few hours before. Yep. I'm a dork :)