Ever since I read the introduction and the first couple of chapters of Positive Discipline, it's all I can think about. In just these few pages there is so much information that explains human behavior... I feel like I can't take it all in at once. I've read the first chapter twice already.
Up until this point my main concerns with Zoe have been basic - eating, sleeping, pooping, growth, milestones, etc., but lately I've been thinking about what skills I want to teach her to live. I want her to be confident, self-reliant, excited about life, adventurous, thoughtful, respectful of herself and all living beings, to be able to follow a logical argument, and to have wisdom. So how on earth am I going to be able to teach her these things? That's what I'm trying to figure out right now and that's why I picked up the Positive Discipline book.
One thing that really caught my attention was the description of how children behave if they are raised by strict and overly controlling parents on one side, and overly permissive parents on the other side, and then presents the case for Positive Discipline, which is somewhere in the middle. The information presented is fascinating. It's too complex to spell out in a post and I'm not sure that I fully understand it yet. Check out the book if you're interested.
It got me thinking about my own childhood. My father falls into the overly controlling group, and my mother falls into the overly permissive group, so I got both of those in my early years. Then my parents got divorced and my mother remarried when I was 9. My step father was overly controlling and abusive. I've had a few step moms over the years, but they didn't really play a parental role in my life. Then I went back and forth between mom and dad until I went to college. I can honestly say that I can see the shortcomings of both parenting styles. I have a lot of issues that I'm still working on to put it nicely.
I feel like I'm starting from scratch with learning how to be a parent. I know what I don't want to do, but I'm not completely sure how pass along the teachings I mentioned before. I think this book is going to be my jumping off point. I have the feeling that in raising Zoe (and any other kids we might have) that I'm going to be learning as much from the experience as they are.
1 comment:
If there is one thing I've learned, there's no substitution for objective evidence. And the evidence shows that your active concern will be the greatest factor in your child's development. It's obvious that you are off to a great start.
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